What a week, what a city, what a world…

For the last 17 years, I’ve lived in Boston. I went to graduate school here, met my husband here, had kids here…and stayed. It’s our home.

And as you know, it’s been a really crazy week here in my hometown.

In the aftermath of the bombings at the Marathon and citywide lockdowns, I’m flooded with so many feelings.

I feel…

• relief it’s all over
• sadness that it happened
• grief at all the losses and injuries
• deep dismay that people can be so misguided as to intentionally hurt others
• anger that my kids are growing up in a world of violence
• gratitude that there are so many people who run to help, heal, and keep us safe
• and just plain tired from a week of being on high alert.

Now all of us here – and everyone all over the world – will start shifting focus back to our own lives and healing.

But, I’m deeply disturbed that as horrific and tragic the bombing on Monday was, it doesn’t feel like an aberration any more.

It wasn’t long ago that we spoke to our kids about the soul wrenching losses at Sandy Hook Elementary school. 9-11 is the historical back drop to their generation. We are raising kids in an era where the violence is in their own backyard. Of course I want to be different. I want to fight for peace. But right now, this is where we are at, and we need to raise kids that have the inner resources to deal with their world.

Today I have 3 ways to help you cope with the new world of violence in which our kids are living…

1. Talk to your kids

It’s really natural to want to protect our kids, shield them from the horrors of our world. And in fact, we do need to be a filter for them. We need to limit how much media and violence they see. We need to respect what is appropriate information for them to know, given their age.

AND, we need to talk to them about what’s going on in our world. This is the world they’re inheriting, and they need to know what is happening…but they also need to know they are safe.

Here’s a good article about talking to your children about violence.

2. Be part of the solution

The healing process here in Boston has already begun, and I’m a proud mama when I say that my son – as part of the Boston Children’s Chorus – has been part of that process.

He sang beautifully at the “Healing Our City” memorial service here on Thursday, and at Good Morning America in NYC on Wednesday.

Here’s a picture from the memorial service, when Obama was speaking.

When I gave my son a big hug as he headed off to NYC to honor Boston on “Good Morning America” I knew it was healing for him.

During this crazy week here, there have been prayer vigils and fundraisers and more. We need ways to take action to be part of the solution.

The solution is creating a world of peace, the solution is raising kids who are connected to their hearts, honor their own humanity, and respect the humanity of all people.

It is our duty to repair the world and to teach our kids to do the same.

3. Practice loving kindness – Metta Meditation

Throughout this week, I leaned heavily on this Buddhist prayer of compassion. It helps me hold hope, and puts me in an empowered frame of mind, so that I can be part of the solution.

Simply repeat these phrases slowly to yourself. Let them sink in, and don’t forget to include yourself when you say “we.” Self-compassion is one of the most important practices, when it comes to learning how to take care of ourselves well.

• May we all be safe
• May we all be healthy
• May we all be happy
• May we all live with ease
• May we all love ourselves exactly the way we are.

My hope is that these tools will give you and your kids a way to feel connected to each other and empowered in this world.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

ninamanolson

Nina Manolson, MA, is the founder of Body-Peace®.She helps women end the war with food and body and finally feel truly at home in their body—as it is.

She is known for her deeply feminist, anti-diet, body-peace® approach. She brings her 30 years of experience as a therapist, Body-Trust® Guide and Psychology of Eating Teacher to helping women create a respectful and trusting relationship with their food and body.

Nina’s Body-Peace® work is all in service of helping people get off the diet roller-coaster, and into a compassionate and powerful way of eating & living which creates a positive long-lasting change in and with their bodies. Her courses, coaching, poems and Body-Peace APP positively change the conversation that women are having with their body.

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