I FEEL FAT
Sitting in my therapist’s too-soft sofa I’d exclaim with deep despair.
I feel fat
And patiently, week after week she’d say:
If you weren’t feeling fat, what would you be feeling?
It took me months to understand the question.
What do you mean if I wasn’t feeling fat?
I DO feel fat
I feel unacceptable.
I should DO something about the number on the scale
I should fix my non-perfect body.
No really, this is ALL about my size!
I believed it.
Until I didn’t
Until the cultural brainwashing started to thaw
Fat is NOT a feeling.
Fat is a size
It’s a descriptor
FEELING fat is a placeholder
It’s a placeholder for so many feelings that don’t have words.
Feelings that don’t have permission to be felt
Feelings that don’t know how to go out, so they just turn back on me and attack my self-worth.
I decoded FEELING FAT
It means….
I feel
Sad
Mad
Disappointed
Angry
Overwhelmed
Confused
Uncomfortable
Jealous
and every other feeling
And sometimes it was easier to FEEL FAT.
It’s familiar
It’s the known pain
Instead of the terror of the deeper feeling
underneath the fat.
But here’s the secret.
That deeper feeling has wisdom
It doesn’t tear you to shreds.
It doesn’t disown your body
It invites you home
It invites you to your knowing.
to your innate wisdom
So, my question to you is….
If you weren’t feeling fat
What would you be feeling?
~ Nina Manolson
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Nina Manolson, MA, NBC-HWC, board certified Health Coach, Psychology of Eating Coach and Certified Body-Trust Provider, believes that every woman deserves to feel good in her own body.
She helps women create a healthy and positive relationship with their food and body so they can love their body and life! She’s the founder of NinaManolson.com and The Nourished Woman Nation.
She helps busy women feel good in their own body.. She specializes in working with women over 40 who have tried other diets and approaches but are still struggling with their body and food.
She’s the creator of the BODY-LOVE MAP and the recipient of the prestigious Health Leadership Award from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition.
To get your F.R.E.E. ebook: HOW TO BE A WOMAN AT EASE IN YOUR BODY Â click here.
Nina Manolson, MA, is the founder of Body-Peace®.She helps women end the war with food and body and finally feel truly at home in their body—as it is.
She is known for her deeply feminist, anti-diet, body-peace® approach. She brings her 30 years of experience as a therapist, Body-Trust® Guide and Psychology of Eating Teacher to helping women create a respectful and trusting relationship with their food and body.
Nina’s Body-Peace® work is all in service of helping people get off the diet roller-coaster, and into a compassionate and powerful way of eating & living which creates a positive long-lasting change in and with their bodies. Her courses, coaching, poems and Body-Peace APP positively change the conversation that women are having with their body.
Start your Body-Peace® journey with this free masterclass that will help you understand and shift your relationship with your body.
This poem is perfect. My body is speaking to me and my NEW habit is to substitute FAT for Feelings.
Thank you wise sister.
Evelyn, I’m so glad this spoke to you and you are making it a practice! <3