What I heard from every single mom this week…

• “I’m living in my to-do list instead of my life.”
• “It’s a brutal time of year!
• “I’m living on my kids’ leftovers this week!”
• “I’m so done – I just can’t do one more pot-luck and school event!”
• “All my healthy intentions went out the window”

I get it!

But here’s the most distressing thing that I heard all week. It was the implicit message that lay under all the complaints…

“What’s wrong with me?!”

I often hear women say “what’s wrong with me? Why can’t I put down the cookie…get moving…make a better choice?

There’s a constant judging and blaming ourselves for a lack of willpower, or inability to put into action what we know is best for ourselves.

Now I tend to work with really smart women who have a pretty good sense of what they “should” be doing to care for their body, mind, and soul…but they don’t do it. Then they look at themselves and wonder what the heck happened to me? Why can’t I make this happen? There must be something wrong with me!

I’m here to tell you…

There’s nothing wrong with you!

You are perfect just as you are.

The problem isn’t that you aren’t smart enough, or that you are weak-willed. That’s not it at all.

The problem lies in our expectations.

• Our expectation of ourselves – to be super moms and make everyone happy.
• Society’s expectations of us – that we be all things to all people, to have “perfect” bodies, to be at more than one kid activity at once!

It’s time to really look at what’s realistic.

Here are a few questions to prompt an expectation-shift for you:

• What do you expect of yourself?
• Are those all your expectations? Which belong to society? Which belong to your mother, or to your kids?
• Which of these expectations really work for you? Which make you feel bad most of the time?
• What expectations are you ready to release?

Here’s where it gets a bit tricky. When I ask women to release expectations. they often get concerned that I’m asking them to settle with things they are not happy with. I hear things like:

 “Are you telling me to just be OK with my extra weight? I’m not OK with that!”

That’s not what I’m saying. You can absolutely desire to feel more at ease and comfortable in your body, but the pressure of expectation won’t help you. In fact, your unrealistic expectations cause more internal stress. Your stress raises cortisol and insulin levels (stress hormones). This messes with your digestion, reduces your ability to lose weight, and compromises your immune system.

If you are looking to create sustainable healthy habits, and release the unhealthy and stressful expectations in your life, what you need is support. In my experience in working with hundreds of women, support is one of the big missing ingredients when it comes to feeling at ease in our bodies, and life.

Whether you choose to work with me (I’d love to help you!) or whether you trade childcare with a friend, or whether you make a walking date with another mom – this week, reach out and get support. It’s the antidote to crazy-busy times and super high self-expectations.

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