Here’s something I didn’t used to be able to do:
Have one bite of a desert or sweet.
I couldn’t have just one cookie, one bite of pie or cake, and I certainly couldn’t have one chocolate. No way!
I had to eat the whole thing, and the whole thing sometimes turned into two…or the whole package!
And then eating the whole thing would turn into me feeling terrible about myself.
- “Ugh, I have no will-power”
- “What’s the matter with me?”
- “I’m a hopeless mess, this will never change”
- “Tomorrow, I’ll start again”
And, I would the next day. I would start with great intentions of controlling my food intake. I would restrict what I ate. I would keep myself away from my “bad food” list, until….well, until I couldn’t.
Then I would crack – and even though I would tell myself I’ll just have one bite – I couldn’t do it. I longed to be someone who could have just one bite, or “just one,” of that “forbidden food.”
But then, much to my great delight, I became someone who can have just one bite.
Yup, I can do it. I can have one luscious bite of a delicious flan or cake when I’m out with friends. I can have high quality chocolate in the house, and take just one bite and enjoy it without it turning into the whole package (or the whole case)!
So how did that happen?
How do you become someone who can have just one bite?
- You listen to your body!
- You talk to your body!
- You trust your body!
- You have a real honest RELATIONSHIP with your body and your food!
Yes, it’s a relationship!
Good relationships are based on respect, honest personal expression, and deep listening. These elements are exactly what’s needed in order to create a healthy and positive relationship with your own body.
Cultivating these relationship skills will help you be able to have just one bite.
Respect: When it comes to food and body, mutual respect means that you honor your body’s wisdom. You understand and respect that your body is a great teacher, and it doesn’t serve you to try to control, subdue or ignore your body – but rather – you benefit from respecting, connecting to it, and honoring what it’s saying to you.
Honest personal expression: Expressing yourself to your body means being real about what you’re truly feeling. What kind of hungry are you, really? What do you need underneath your hunger? Are you tired? Are you sad or mad? Are you longing for comfort beneath that longing for ice cream? Are you looking for an experience of pleasure in the box of chocolate? Honest personal expression means expressing your deeper hunger and desires.
Deep listening: What is your body saying back to you when you eat. Are you full, still hungry, stuffed? How does it feel when you give it what you truly need? Maybe refreshed, when given enough sleep, or more grounded when you feed it high quality foods (versus processed foods)? Maybe your body fully experienced the pleasure you were looking for in that first delicious bite of chocolate, and doesn’t really need the whole thing?
Deep listening leads you right back to the first aspect of creating a healthy and positive relationship with your body – Mutual Respect.
And that’s when you can just take one bite!
When we’re really tuned in to listening to our body’s signal of “that was enough,” we have the capability to have just one bite…if that’s what we want. And, if we still want more, we can have a real honest dialogue with our body, to see if more food will truly serve us, or not.
It’s this kind of open-conversation with our body and food that makes us feel relaxed and good in ourselves. It’s what allows us to love our body and our food fully. And I know it’s possible, because that’s the kind of relationship with my body and food that I’ve fostered for myself, and for other women.
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Nina Manolson, MA, CHC, certified Health Coach and Psychology of Eating Coach believes that every women deserves to feel good in their own body. She helps women create a healthy and positive relationship with their food and body so they can love their body and life! She’s the founder of NinaManolson.com and NourishedWomanNation.com
She helps busy women look and feel their best, and helps them feed their kids well in a world that doesn’t.
She’s the author of “Feed Your Kids Well In A World That Doesn’t: an everyday guide to make healthy food happen in your home and beyond”. She’s also the recipient of the prestigious Health Leadership Award from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition.
To get your F.R.E.E. Video Series “What to do now, when everything you’ve done hasn’t worked” by mail and receive her healthy recipes and wellness tips click here.
Nina Manolson, MA, is the founder of Body-Peace®.She helps women end the war with food and body and finally feel truly at home in their body—as it is.
She is known for her deeply feminist, anti-diet, body-peace® approach. She brings her 30 years of experience as a therapist, Body-Trust® Guide and Psychology of Eating Teacher to helping women create a respectful and trusting relationship with their food and body.
Nina’s Body-Peace® work is all in service of helping people get off the diet roller-coaster, and into a compassionate and powerful way of eating & living which creates a positive long-lasting change in and with their bodies. Her courses, coaching, poems and Body-Peace APP positively change the conversation that women are having with their body.
Start your Body-Peace® journey with this free masterclass that will help you understand and shift your relationship with your body.
