“I just want to lose the weight!” – My before & after pictures

This past week I sent out an email announcing my Radiant & Luminous Mentorship Experience (it’s a 4 month program to step into your most vibrant, fabulous self). In that email I shared my before & after pics (see below). I got some strong responses from my readers about those pictures!

Here’s a bit of what I heard this week:

• “From your pics it looks like you’re all about weight loss, I thought you were about more than that!”
• “Your pictures make it seem like the most important thing is to be thin!”
•  “I’m really inspired, how did you lose the weight?”
• “I think you look so happy and like such a nice person in the first picture. When I looked at that picture I felt such compassion for you, and felt bad that you didn’t feel like it was OK to be just like you are.”
•  “Why do we always feel like we have to be thin?”

The reactions I received prompted me to want to explain myself a bit, and to talk to you about women and weight-loss.

In case you are brand new to my blog. I’m a health coach and I work with busy moms who are ready to make the shift from neglecting themselves to putting themselves first on the list so they step into a life they love in a body they love.

Now, women come to work with me for different reasons.

I often hear:

• “I want more energy, I’m so exhausted and overwhelmed!”
• “I feel like I’ve lost touch with loving my life in the fray of being a mom.”
• “How the heck do I make time for ME in my crazy life.”
• “I’m not even on my to-do list.That’s really got to change!”

But amongst all the very common mom issues, I often hear…

“I just want to lose the weight – and then I’ll feel better”.

Now here’s the honest to goodness truth. I used to cringe when I heard those words. I would simultaneously want to shy away from – and scream with rage – about the desperate desire to be thin, that so many women carry with them.

There are a three reasons that I had such a powerful reaction to “I just want to lose the weight:”

1. That used to be me. When I was carrying around extra weight, all I could think of was “if I could just lose the weight my life would be better. I’d be more confident. I’d feel sexier. I’d be able to get up in the morning and wear whatever I felt like instead of looking for the clothes that hid me the best.” When I hear the “I just want to lose weight,” I remember that painful place of just wanting things to be different.

2. It’s a backwards formula. Women think – “I’ll lose the weight and then I’ll feel better.” From personal and professional experience, from years of training, from years of coaching, that thinking – “I’ll lose weight and then I’ll feel better” – is a backwards formula to feeling your best. What we need as women, is to step into our feel better, feel nourished, feel accepted and ‘good-in-our-skin’ state – and then our body can find a weight that feels comfortable.

3. It’s a smokescreen. For sure the weight is real, for sure we want to be as healthy as we can be, and feel comfortable in our skin, but it’s not about the weight. I spent years sitting on my therapist’s comfy sofa (support is soooo important for women!) saying the words “I feel fat,” and over and over, for years she said to me:

“If you weren’t feeling fat right now, what would you be feeling?”

Right!!! There’s so much more to weight issues than losing the pounds.

For many women it’s…

• Easier to focus on the weight than the feelings underneath.
• More familiar to feel bad about ourselves and our fat than to be mad at someone else
• More concrete to focus on the act of a diet than focusing on our needs
• Less challenging to stay on the level of scales and food than to dive into what our weight is really saying to us about our life.

Yes, it’s all these things and more. And…

Many women really do want to lose the weight.

Recently when talking to one of my mentors (I always work with super experienced mentors and coaches so that I can be the best coach possible!) I was recounting my “cringe” at the women-just-wanting-to-lose-weight attitude. This is what she said.

“Nina, the weight is the doorway into all that you have to offer the women you work with. In our day and age, almost every woman is concerned about her weight, even if she’s skinny.”

And it’s so true, isn’t it? Weight and the idea of an ideal number is the albatross all women are carrying with them in this era.

So, I invite you to step into a different mindset when it comes to your weight. It’s a doorway into a vibrant and nourished life!

This is how I see it and this is what helped me transform my relationship with weight and my body…

Your weight issues are an opportunity for transformation. Your weight issues are an invitation to deep self-care. Your weight issues are like a beeping red light that says “me, me, me – take care of me.”

And it’s true, I don’t just work with weight issues, but I do work with weight issues. It’s there for so many women. When we have babies, we tend to gain weight; when we put ourselves last on the list, we tend to gain weight. Women in general and mom’s in particular are often challenged with weight, body image and food issues. It can come with the package of being “on” for everyone else.

Meanwhile, our society is busy responding to our weight obsession with the newest diet, the “right” way to eat. I’m here to help you step out of the obsession, out of the societal pressure to be thin, and into your real life and your own unique body.

And about my before and after pictures. They are not there to say that life is better when you are thin. They are not there to say that success = weight loss.

I show my before and after pictures so that you know that I once sat firmly in my weight issues. Many women come to be and think I can’t relate to the “I feel fat” or “I don’t feel good in my body” My pictures say….I get it.

If you’d like support and guidance in your journey to having a great relationship with your food and body. I’m here for you. You can contact me at Nina@NinaManolson.com

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Nina Manolson, MA, CHC, certified Health Coach and Psychology of Eating Coach believes that every women deserves to feel good in their own body. She helps women create a healthy and positive relationship with their food and body so they can love their body and life!  She’s the founder of NinaManolson.com and NourishedWomanNation.com 

She helps busy women look and feel their best, and helps them feed their kids well in a world that doesn’t.

She’s the author of “Feed Your Kids Well In A World That Doesn’t: an everyday guide to make healthy food happen in your home and beyond”. She’s also the recipient of the prestigious Health Leadership Award from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition.

To get your F.R.E.E. Video Series “What to do now, when everything you’ve done hasn’t worked” by mail and receive her healthy recipes and wellness tips click here.