From my vantage point of being a Health Coach and Psychology of Eating Coach, women are really mean!

Not to other people, but to themselves.

I hear it all the time:

• I hate my thighs/belly/etc
• I shouldn’t have eaten that
• I have no willpower
• I didn’t do enough
• I’m not enough
• I should have gone to the gym
• etc…

And here’s what happens when we’re being unkind – actually downright harsh – with ourselves…

We put our system into a state of stress.

Our sympathetic nervous system – our fight or flight response – kicks in.  That means our stress hormone levels increase, and our metabolism and immune system functioning decrease.

Another way to say that is that is that we feel more hassled and anxious (sometimes depressed) and our body stops humming along nicely. We are less able to calorie burn efficiently, we get sick easier and we basically feel crummy.

If we want to truly feel good we have to shift the way we talk to ourselves. We have to create a more compassionate and loving relationship with ourselves.

And the first step is….

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry is so powerful when it comes to creating a healthy and positive relationship with our food and body, because within a good and meaningful “I’m sorry” is…

AWARENESS

• I know I did something that was out of alignment with how I really want to show up in the world.

REGRET

• I wish I could have done it differently.

INTENTION

• I want to do it differently.

What this process of a really good “I’m sorry”  looks like with YOURSELF is:

AWARENESS with RESPONSIBILITY

• I clearly see the places that I am treating myself poorly. I am aware that when I look in the mirror, I am critical of myself. I am aware that I’ve been choosing foods that don’t truly nourish me. I get that I’m not really listening to my body’s cues of being full or hungry. I see that I’m making those statements, these are my own thoughts, and my own judgements of myself.

REGRET with COMPASSION

• I’m really sorry that I treat myself so badly, but I understand that I’ve developed these thought patterns and actions as a way to protect myself, or as a misguided attempt to try to motivate myself. I’m human, and as such I’ve been influenced by the society’s ideals of beauty, I’m regretful that I’ve fallen into the trap of not feeling like I’m good enough, but I’m not going to beat myself up for beating myself up! I choose to be kind and compassionate with myself.

INTENTION with SUPPORT

• I want my relationship with myself to be kinder. I want to treat myself well because I know that as I treat myself better, I will feel better and everyone around me will benefit from my self-care. I also know that self-care has been a challenge for me in the past, so I’m going to get support. I’ve been conditioned to think I should be able to do this self-care thing myself, but I can’t. I’m going to ask for support. I’m going to surround myself with like-minded women. I’m going to ask for support from a coach. I’m going to make myself a priority by getting the help that I need.

This kind of I’m sorry is powerful!

• It’s steeped with compassion, awareness and action
• It’s the first step to changing your relationship with your body and food
• And it’s vital!

When we give ourselves this kind of loving attention, we internally relax. This means that our para-sympathetic nervous system becomes activated, and our immune system – our digestion, our metabolism – all start humming along nicely. This type of compassionate self-talk also helps shift the way that we treat ourselves. If we are being truly tender with ourselves, we will tend to make choices that nourish and nurture our body and soul.

I invite you to start with “I’m sorry” to yourself and notice what happens.

I’d love to hear about your experience in the comments below!

 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Nina Manolson, MA, CHC, certified Health Coach and Psychology of Eating Coach believes that every women deserves to feel good in their own body. She helps women create a healthy and positive relationship with their food and body so they can love their body and life!  She’s the founder of NinaManolson.com and NourishedWomanNation.com 

She helps busy women look and feel their best, and helps them feed their kids well in a world that doesn’t.

She’s the author of “Feed Your Kids Well In A World That Doesn’t: an everyday guide to make healthy food happen in your home and beyond”. She’s also the recipient of the prestigious Health Leadership Award from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition.

To get your F.R.E.E. Video Series “What to do now, when everything you’ve done hasn’t worked” by mail and receive her healthy recipes and wellness tips click here.

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Nina Manolson, MA, is the founder of Body-Peace®.She helps women end the war with food and body and finally feel truly at home in their body—as it is.

She is known for her deeply feminist, anti-diet, body-peace® approach. She brings her 30 years of experience as a therapist, Body-Trust® Guide and Psychology of Eating Teacher to helping women create a respectful and trusting relationship with their food and body.

Nina’s Body-Peace® work is all in service of helping people get off the diet roller-coaster, and into a compassionate and powerful way of eating & living which creates a positive long-lasting change in and with their bodies. Her courses, coaching, poems and Body-Peace APP positively change the conversation that women are having with their body.

Start your Body-Peace® journey with this free masterclass that will help you understand and shift your relationship with your body.

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