I’M GOING TO LOSE WEIGHT FOR THE WEDDING

I’M GOING TO LOSE WEIGHT FOR THE WEDDING

I see the envelope

I can tell it’s an invitation

No matter what it’s for

A wedding

A reunion

A girls-get-together

I look at the date

And I start counting

How many weeks away is it?

How much weight could I lose by then?

It’s a familiar calculation

I’ve been making this calculation since I was fifteen

I hear the same math from women every day

I just want to fit into that dress for the wedding

I don’t want to be the fat girlfriend for the weekend away

I just want to be thinner than the last time they saw me

It’s all code for

I’m ashamed of my body

I don’t want them to judge me

I don’t want to be judging myself

when I see my body through their eyes

I want to be loved

I want to be accepted

I want to feel attractive

I want to feel included

I want to feel good enough

I want to feel proud of myself

I want social currency

I want to feel desirable

I want to look like I’ve got my life together

I want to look like I used to look

I want to look better than I looked

I want to be validated

I want to be safe

But what if

When we see that invitation

When we hear our mind start calculating pounds and dates

What if we worked at breaking the code

Breaking the expectations

Breaking the cultural brainwashing

that our bodies are not good enough as they are.

Breaking the idea that we’ll be excluded if we aren’t the “right” size.

What if when we saw the invitation

we spoke words of invitation to ourselves

I invite my body as she is

I invite self-compassion as I prepare for this event

I invite myself to name and call out the weight-bias that surrounds me

I invite myself to be fully myself without needing to change

I invite myself to ask for the support that I want and need to feel safe

How might that feel to be fully invited?

~ Nina Manolson

For more of my poetic essays: https://ninamanolson.com/food-for-thought/

Nina Manolson, M.A. in Counseling Psychology, Nationally Board Certified Health & Wellness Coach, Psychology of Eating Coach, Body-Trust® Guide.

If you’d like help with navigating an authentic and respectful relationship with your body. Let’s talk.

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Nina Manolson, MA, NBC-HWC, board certified Health Coach, Psychology of Eating Coach and Certified Body-Trust Provider, believes that every woman deserves to feel good in her own body.

She helps women create a healthy and positive relationship with their food and body so they can love their body and life! She’s the founder of NinaManolson.com and The Nourished Woman Nation.

She helps busy women feel good in their own body.. She specializes in working with women over 40 who have tried other diets and approaches but are still struggling with their body and food.

She’s the creator of the BODY-LOVE MAP and the recipient of the prestigious Health Leadership Award from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition.

To get your F.R.E.E. ebook: HOW TO BE A WOMAN AT EASE IN YOUR BODY  click here.