97% of women say something mean and critical to their body every day!

That is a shocking statistic, but it may not surprise you. It may not surprise you because as a woman, you know the harsh things we say to ourselves. The fact that almost every woman is judging themselves didn’t surprise me at all, because I used to be one of those women that would look in the mirror and tear herself to pieces.

We live in a culture that spends billions of dollars on diets and idealizes the perfect body. Everywhere we turn, we have images of what we should look like – a model. I bought into that image hook line and sinker. I thought that the only way to love my body was to look like those models in the magazines and the movie stars. And realistically, being 5’4” and very curvy, my chances were pretty slim.

So I settled on hating myself day in and day out. I’d walk by the mirror, catch a glimpse at myself and tell my hips that they were just too wide. I’d stroll by a reflective window and suck my belly in, because I just didn’t have those rock hard abs. I’d diet and diet and diet. But there was no way I could achieve the perfection that I saw in the media. There was no way I could achieve the “perfect” body that existed in my mind.

And finally, after years of feeling like I just wasn’t good enough and looking for another way – after having kids and knowing I wanted them to have a better relationship with their body than I did, after years of yoga and self-study – I stepped to the other side…I stepped into the 3% of women who actually love their body.

I made the leap to loving my body. Now, I say leap, but it wasn’t that at all, it was a step-by-step journey. Creating a positive relationship with my body was a process, and it’s a process that I want to invite you to explore. Because honestly, loving the body you are in is so very much more fun than hating it.

Here are 14 ways I learned to love my body:

1.    Notice the body talk

Pay attention to what you are saying to yourself. The only way to stop the self-hatred, is to actually catch it in action. Shine a light on those unconscious, automatic jabs that you make to yourself. Get curious about your self-talk. The more awareness you can bring to your negative body talk, the more you can change it.

 

2.    Take off the star studded glasses

There’s a myth in our society that if you are thin, then you are happy. The media puts movie stars on a pedestal and touts them as having the perfect body which of course goes with the perfect life. But we know that’s just not true. Take off your star studded glasses – being thin won’t make your life picture perfect.

 

3.    Give back the “perfect body” expectation

We were not born thinking we had to have a model’s body. Somewhere along the way we learned that our body wasn’t good enough as it was. It might have been the media, it might have been our mother or sister, it might have been some mean girls at school. Trace back where that “perfect body” expectation came from. Now give it back – you don’t need it anymore – and it was never yours to begin with.

 

4.    Go critic-free

Every time you hear that snarky mean-mirror-voice tearing you down, replace it with a positive statement. It may not feel authentic when you start, but keep at it, and you’ll interrupt the automatic negative-talk pattern, and start to create a positive  critic-free dialogue with yourself.

 

5.    Find the pleasure in your life

If you are waiting to lose weight to feel good in your body and your life – stop waiting and start enjoying now! Sink into the pleasure of a bath. Dive into the sensuality of touching your partner (or yourself), notice the tenderness of holding your child’s hand. Pleasure is available at every corner. Pay attention, and it will awaken your body and make it a really fun place to live.

 

6.    Gratitude

I’m grateful for a heart that is beating. I’m grateful for legs that take me on a hike. I’m grateful for my eyes that see such beauty. Stepping into a moment of gratitude can quickly and deeply shift you from an attitude of self-loathing, to one of inner peace. Don’t underestimate the power of noticing every tiny blessing.

 

7.    Self-care

Feeding yourself delicious healthy food, moving in a way thatyou love, sleeping enough…all these basic self care habits are pathways to a positive relationship with your body.  When we treat ourselves well, we feel good. Feeling good opens the door to loving our body.

 

8.    Get real about your body type

There’s no way I’ll ever look in the mirror and see a tall, blonde and svelte woman, it just won’t happen, because that’s just not me! Step into the magnificence of your own body type and embrace your own brand of beauty.

 

9.    Step off the scale

Woah – we give that number on the scale so much power! If the number is down you get to feel good about yourself. If the number is up, then the self-criticism explodes!  The scale has become the self-esteem barometer. Take back the control of your self-esteem and put the scale away.

 

10. Listen to what your body is telling you

Our body is always talking to us. It talks in the language of sensations. When we don’t listen to the subtler sensations of hunger, or an ache, our body starts to yell in the form of a craving or pain. Good relationships are based on attentive listening to one another, the relationship with your body is no different. Start listening.

 

11. Ditch the Compare and Despair

Ouch, you may know this painful pattern – it’s when you compare yourself to someone else – and then end up feeling bad about yourself.  Compare and despair is another incarnation of the inner-critic. The best antidote is deep self-compassion.

 

12. Wear clothes that feel really good

Dress your inner diva, your goddess, your queen! Adorn your body so that when you look in the mirror your true essence is reflected back. It’s not about dressing for success, it’s about dressing for your soul’s fullest expression.

 

13. Find your movement style

What if all exercise and movement burned the same amount of calories – what would you do? What movement makes you feel free and sensual and in love with your body? That’s the one for you!

 

14.  Respect your rhythms

Our body’s have a monthly rhythm, even after menopause, we have rhythms of energy and lethargy. We all have rhythms of being extroverted and introverted, productive and reflective. Stop expecting your body just keep on going like a machine, it’s not. It’s a soft animal that deserves deep respect and love.

 

May these 14 ways of loving your body support you on your journey to having a body you love in a life you love.

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Nina Manolson, MA, CHC, certified Health Coach and Psychology of Eating Coach believes that every women deserves to feel good in their own body. She helps women create a healthy and positive relationship with their food and body so they can love their body and life!  She’s the founder of NinaManolson.com and NourishedWomanNation.com 

She helps busy women look and feel their best, and helps them feed their kids well in a world that doesn’t.

She’s the author of “Feed Your Kids Well In A World That Doesn’t: an everyday guide to make healthy food happen in your home and beyond”. She’s also the recipient of the prestigious Health Leadership Award from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition.

To get your F.R.E.E. Video Series “What to do now, when everything you’ve done hasn’t worked” by mail and receive her healthy recipes and wellness tips click here.