Before I start to work with a new client, we have a get-acquainted chat to see if we’re a good match.

This is an important part of the process of creating a powerful environment and foundation for transformation, because a lot of the power of change in a coaching relationship comes from the relationship.

I’ve found in my own personal journey of working with therapists and coaches – and in my professional journey of working with women to create a positive and healthy relationship with their food and body – that the quality of the relationship with the coach is fundamental and essential.

When someone believes in us and can guide us to into our most powerful and vibrant self, the changes we can make are amazing.

Also, women learn and grow through relationship and connection. Going it solo is not nearly as effective or long-lasting when it comes to creating transformation and shifts in our lives. So this initial call with potential clients is vital to my coaching process!

There are several themes, or questions that come up time and again in these calls. I could devote entire blogs to answering these first three – but I’ll offer a quickie answer – and then move on to addressing a 4th, and fundamental issue.

• How is this work different than therapy, or working with a nutritionist?

I work with food, as well as with the deeper underlying issues that keep us from truly nourishing ourselves.

• Can you really help me if I’ve tried so many different things?

Absolutely, I specialize in working with smart women who just can’t seem to get this aspect of their life in balance.

• How do I know I won’t fail again?

You’ll be deeply supported and there’s no such thing as failing in this process…it’s all about learning to respect and deeply honor your body.

But there’s one common theme that – even though I’ve heard it many times – continues to sadden me.

“I need to ask my husband”

I often hear this statement after we’ve really become clear that this holistic way of working would have a hugely positive impact in my future client’s life. We’ve started talking about the details about what working together would look like. We’ve started talking about the financial investment needed to begin work together ,and then…

“I really want to do this. I know it’s the right thing for me, but…I have to see what my husband says.”

Now I get that relationships are partnerships, I really do. If you’re going to make a financial decision that impacts the whole family, it’s respectful to communicate your intentions. But I often see women use the “I need to ask my husband” as a way to abdicate their commitment to themselves and hand over responsibility for their own health and well-being.

It’s almost as if some women are waiting for permission to invest time, money and energy in themselves. And this approval they seek is from someone outside of themselves – who has not had the conversation we’ve just had – who hasn’t just reviewed all the things that have and haven’t worked, or could work, or need to work…for them to get to a better place in their relationship with themselves.

As women, as givers – we’re SO much more likely to spend on our kids’ sports, arts, or academic activities…a family vacation, or a new TV – than we are to invest on our own health and well-being.

Everyone else’s needs are NOT more important than your health and how you feel in your own skin!

In fact, when you – as the central giver in your family or in your community, invest in yourself; start taking care of yourself; and feed yourself better – EVERYONE, and I mean EVERYONE in your life benefits. It’s that old adage of “if mama is happy, everyone is happy” – and that doesn’t only apply to mothers – it’s true for all women.

When we nourish and nurture ourselves, we radiate love and all those in our sphere are enriched by that calm, love, and giving that comes from a deeply sourced well versus an empty, exhausted and depleted well that feels ultimately a bit resentful of everyone else’s needs.

So my plea to you today is to know that you are worth the time and energy of self-care. Please don’t wait until your husband or anyone else gives you the thumbs up to take care of yourself!

I’ve witnessed women get very creative when they get clear that they want to do this deep nourishment work and yet, they don’t want to tell their husbands.

I’ve been paid in cash, money orders, separate secret accounts. I LOVE how these women don’t want to wait for permission to get the support they need. They are claiming what they need to have the ease in their body and life that they want!

Of course, I think honesty is the best policy in relationships, but I can understand that some women don’t feel like their husband’s would be supportive of their journey to body-freedom.

They are concerned that they would be “watched” as in: “You’re eating THAT!” or “I thought you were on a DIET!” No, that’s really not helpful! For some, keeping it private and avoiding the pressure and expectations is the way that really works for them.

My wish for all women is that they stand up and say loud and proud:

“I’m worth spending time, money and energy on myself. My well-being is of the utmost priority in this family/community/relationship, because if I’m not feeling good, grounded, healthy, strong, vibrant ,and alive – I can’t give you all the gifts that I have. And let me tell you – they’re really, really good!

Please, be an advocate for yourself.

Don’t wait for permission to self-care.

You are SO worth it!

 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Nina Manolson, MA, CHC, certified Health Coach and Psychology of Eating Coach believes that every women deserves to feel good in their own body. She helps women create a healthy and positive relationship with their food and body so they can love their body and life!  She’s the founder of NinaManolson.com and NourishedWomanNation.com 

She helps busy women look and feel their best, and helps them feed their kids well in a world that doesn’t.

She’s the author of “Feed Your Kids Well In A World That Doesn’t: an everyday guide to make healthy food happen in your home and beyond”. She’s also the recipient of the prestigious Health Leadership Award from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition.

To get your F.R.E.E. Video Series “What to do now, when everything you’ve done hasn’t worked” by mail and receive her healthy recipes and wellness tips click here.

ninamanolson

Nina Manolson, MA, NBC-HWC, is a Body-Peace™ Coach.

She is a board certified Health Coach, Psychology of Eating Coach and Certified Body-Trust Provider, believes that every woman deserves to feel good in her own body.

She helps women create a healthy and positive relationship with their food and body so they can truly feel at peace in their body! She’s the founder of NinaManolson.com and The Nourished Woman Nation.

She specializes in working with women over 40 who have tried many other diets and approaches but are still struggling with their relationship to body and food.She’s the creator of the BODY-LOVE MAP and the recipient of the prestigious Health Leadership Award from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition.To take a powerful step on the Body-Peace™ Path, download your Practicing Body-Peace Journal right HERE.

If you’d like help with navigating an authentic and respectful relationship with your body. Let’s talk.